A New Life
by MyAlmostLoverxx
Summary: Jacob's run away from his problems, but they still haunt him. He tries to fight them, face them, but nothing works. Until someone steps into his life, unfortunately, Jacob isn't the only one with secrets. Secrets that could get people killed. Jacob/OC,E/B
1. Preface

**Summary: Set AFTER Eclipse When Jacob Black ran away, he wanted to get his life back on track, but it just seemed impossible. Without all these voices in his head, he was lonely. Almost felt as though he had been forgotten. But at the same time, he felt maybe he could carry on now. This is why he went back, however it doesn't end well. Poor Jacob feels as though nothing can go right...and then he meets her. The one he's imprinted to. When it comes to telling her though, he can't spit the truth out. Unfortunately, it looks like he isn't the only one with secrets. She has one of her own. One that can never end well.  
Pairings: Jacob/OC and Edward/Bella.**

_Author's Note: First of, this is set after Eclipse. I haven't read Breaking Dawn yet so...this fan fiction has nothing about that in it. This is set after Jacob ran away. So! I suck at Summaries. I have this fan fiction all planned out, but a summary is tough._

_This is actually my first fan fiction since 2005. Any of the others I've done I'm either deleting OR hoping to restart at least. This is the first real piece of writing I've done out of choice for a long time anyway. I recently fell in love with Twilight. The books are amazing. HOWEVER...I have NOT read Breaking Dawn yet. Therefore, no spoilers please. Also, in case you don't understand in the summary, this is based AFTER the third one. So...screw Breaking Dawn really. I'm sure it's amazing, but I haven't read it. So this fan fiction is based Eclipse.  
It's going to be different people's points of view. Parts will be Jacob, some the OC and other's Bella. At one point, just one, it's Edward's. I'll make it obvious whose it is though obviously. Because otherwise...well yeah. OKAY! So...that's it. Sorry this is so short, it's only the preface. I thought I'd do one. I'm working on Chapter One now. Hope you like it._

Disclaimer: I own nothing but if anyone is willing to sell me Edward or Jacob, I will most happily buy him.

* * *

**  
****Preface.**  
**Jacob Black.**

I never thought I'd be the cause of Bella's death. I always knew she would die. She chose that fate herself. I suppose those bloodsuckers of hers would disagree with me – they would claim there was a difference between a corpse and themselves. Bella would certainly disagree with me. I knew that. I even accepted that. I might not have liked it, but I gave trying to change her mind. She chose her fate, her...destiny. It's not up to me how she lives her life – or her death.

But I never thought I would be the cause of that death. How did this happen? My eyes were clouded slightly with shock, sorrow and warm tears stung them as they stared at the limp figure Cullen was holding in his arms. I could faintly hear the sobs that were escaping him, but most sound had been blocked out where I was so stunned. My arm was wrapped around another figure whose own life was in danger. But all I could focus on was the body lying on the ground, slipping in and out of consciousness. In and out of death while Dr Cullen tried to snap his bloodsucking son out of it. Part of me wanted to scream at Edward to snap out of it as well. To save her before it was too late.

Then I realised, I didn't want him to. I realised, in my opinion, no matter how sick and twisted I might have sounded, I would prefer her to die and stay dead. Guilt built up in my stomach. I knew that was wrong, but I couldn't help it.

I should have been more careful. It would never be clear who caused the accident. Never be clear who had actually snatched that life away from her body. But I knew one thing was clear. No matter what Cullen decided to do with his fiancé's dying body...Bella Swann was now dead to me. She always would be.


	2. Runaway Returns

**Jacob Black**

I never thought I'd miss it. There wasn't much to miss. But as my eyes travelled around the dead leaves falling off trees that were missing branches, as they observed the bright sun rays burst down onto me making my skin hotter than it already was and watched the laughing children...I realised I did miss it. I missed home. This wasn't home – this was nowhere near home. I didn't even know where I was anymore. I missed the things I was to. I missed the refreshing rain, the occasional snow in winter...I missed the colour green. Most of all...I missed her.  
I wasn't supposed to miss her though. The reason I ran was because I wanted to escape that. I wanted to escape the horrible ache my heart went through whenever I thought of her face. I wanted to escape the way my fists clenched into balls and my body shook with anger when I imagined her in the cold, dead arms of that bloodsucker. Although, apparently I couldn't escape it because here I was, still thinking of such things despite the fact it had been so long since I saw or heard any one I knew. I didn't want to. I wanted a life that was...simple. Then again, I suppose everyone wants a life like that, even people who don't turn into unnaturally large wolves. I suppose that was one of the things that really did frustrate me about Bella. She had the choice. She could have a simple life and she threw that chance away for a bunch of bloodsuck – And here I am, thinking about it again. How could I not? My love for that girl still continued. It was getting easier and that was a relief, but would it still be easy if I was to go near her again? Perhaps it wasn't fading. I was just forgetting. If that was the case, what would happen if I was reminded?  
There were too many "what if" questions that needed answering and it was driving me crazy.

Rubbing my temples, I propped myself up from my lying position, placing my elbows either side of me to give me balance. Was I to spend the rest of my life running? I already knew the answer was no. I refused to run anymore. I wanted to be Jacob Black again. The carefree lad that used to be known as 'My Jacob' by a certain Miss Swan. And I didn't want to be that boy because of her; I wanted to be that boy because he had it simple. Not completely, but he was content. He was happy. I was just a coward. Throughout these six months I've tried my hardest to make excuses for my actions. I've tried to tell myself running was the best thing to do; that I would have done something stupid if I had stayed. But I can't lie to myself anymore. I left because it was easier. I ran away from the problems because it felt better than facing them. Well it was time to stop being a coward. The way I saw it now, I was faced with two choices. I could stay here, alone, wallowing in self pity with nothing but nature to keep my company. The second one was to go home. I'm not saying I'd be happy there, my depression could probably get worse but...I'd have company. I wouldn't be alone. At first I thought I had wanted to be on my own, but after spending six months lying on damp, dead grass and watching my life pass me by slowly, a little bit of company sounded a lot more welcoming than I thought it ever could.  
I debated the two options in my mind, swinging them from side to side. This time, I was going to make the right one.

I moved once more, this time pushing myself to my feet. I was aware that every time I did this, people looked. I wasn't exactly small, height wise or muscle wise. In all honesty, I think people find my quite intimidating to look at. A hand ran through my hair nervously and I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes. Was I ready for this? I don't know. I did know one thing though – I was going home. It was about time I stepped up to these problems, instead of backing down. I was a protector, not a coward. Why had it taken me so long to notice?

My eyes flickered open and watched as I noticed parents shuffle their kids away, almost as though I was going to rob them. That was a bit over the top, but I noticed lot of people acted like that around here. I tried to tell myself it was because they had a high crime rate. But I knew the real reason. It was because it wasn't exactly normal for a teenage boy to sleep in the woods every night. Sure, some nights I was in wolf form, but it got humid at night. Believe it or not, heat is an issue even for me. No, I wasn't seen as normal around here. People avoided me, but wasn't that what I had wanted at the time? The last family left and an eyebrow rose when I realised how silent it had become. I was alone – as usual.

It was now or never. I pushed myself forward, as if to run, but as I did, I fell down onto all fours. By the time my hands touched the ground, they were no longer hands, but paws. Paws that hit down on the ground at such a fast speed as I ran, that I wouldn't have looked like an oversized wolf as I moved through the trees, but merely a blur. A loud howl escaped my mouth as I looked up at the sun setting sky.  
I had to let the others know I was coming after all.

**B****ella Swan.**

"Wait..._dancing_?"

Even when I said the word, it already sounded like a disaster waiting to happening. When I had given Alice permission to plan my wedding, I had never in my wildest dreams would have thought that she would try and stick to the whole 'first dance' theme. After everything that she had seen me do, did she honestly think dancing was a strong skill? All I have to do is stand up nowadays and I come close to dying. There was no way this was going to happen. My eyes were still wide as I watched Edward grimace and Alice nod excitedly. Apparently she didn't understand the angry vibes I was releasing from my body right now – either that or she was just ignoring them. Actually, that sounded about right.  
"Alice. I – don't – dance." I spoke carefully through gritted teeth, pronouncing every word, just to get my point across. I looked at Edward, as if expecting him to back me up, but he just sort of looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I knew he would have something to do with this. He was probably the one who suggested the idea to Alice. What was it he said to me once?  
'It's all in the leading.'  
I'd like to hear him say that after I've stepped on his feet 7 times and falling into the punch table. However, saying this, I thought back to prom. It wasn't so bad...I thought it was going to be terrible, but it had been a good experience. An experience I was sure to forget soon, along with every other human one I had been through.

A sigh escaped my lips and I looked down. This was happening a lot lately. As the days passed by quicker each time, my thoughts got more and more sidetracked. I wasn't regretting my decision and I certainly wasn't changing my mind. This was what I wanted – I had wanted it for so long now. I was still human at this moment in time though and a guilty conscience built up inside of me whenever I looked at Charlie. Fear even bubbled in the pit of my stomach as I tried to imagine myself when it first happened. Would I ever be the same again? What feared me the most is if I was in fact untameable. Would I have to be killed?

As if he knew what I was thinking, which of course he couldn't (one of the many things that got me where I was today), Edward's cold hand broke me from my thoughts as he touched my cheek softly. I looked up, my lips automatically curving into a small smile. The moment our eyes met, my breath caught in my mouth, my heart skipping gently. It was a reaction I was used to now. No matter what, Edward always had this affect on me. Something he claimed he was going to miss the most when I was one of him. He had told me it many times now. How he loved the way he could hear my heart fasten in joy at his touches. I think it was something I would miss as well. It was a feeling not many people could claim they had gone through – then again, not many people could claim they were marrying a vampire. There was a small stab of pain in my chest and I realised I had forgotten to breath. Quickly, I drew air in, releasing it softly and I heard Edward's musical chuckle as he pressed his lips against my fore head, breaking the piercing eye contact.  
"You'll be fine. Like I said, it's all – "  
"In the leading?" I finished with a raised eyebrow, questioning whether that was what he was going to say or not. Edward paused in mid sentence looked as though he was debating whether or not to change what he was going to say before sighing and sitting himself back down. "Does that mean you're okay with it?" He asked. The hopeful tone in his voice almost made me give in. Almost.  
Leaning forward, I watched as Alice turned her back, skipping slightly as she hummed, flicking through CDs. She was now deciding on music. Hadn't I told her I wanted a small wedding? Shaking my head, I tilted it to the side slightly to look down, reading the list she had made. The words 'first dance' practically screamed at me and pressing the tip of the pen next to the first letter, I carefully drew a line across it, repeating the action until it was nothing more than a scribble. There. I smiled, clearly satisfied with myself. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of turning my back. I hadn't meant to, but the sound of Charlie's cruiser pulling into the driveway had made me stand up from my bed, craning my neck to peer out the window. I didn't even hear Alice moving, but as I turned round, she was sat on the bed with a smug grin on her face, holding the pen in her hand. I frowned before slowly looking back down at the paper, my mouth dropping open ever so slightly when I saw the words 'First dance' written on it again – in capitals this time.** Damn vampires and their inhumane speed**. I'd only had my back turned for 30 seconds!  
One day, I was going to be able to do that and they would regret the day they teased me like this. At this thought, I got sidetracked again. This time lost in pointless thought as I wondered if I would still be as clumsy as a vampire. Would I fall over every time I tried to race through the woods with such unnatural speed? I hope not.  
Sighing, I decided not to argue with Alice. Where would it get me?  
"I'm going to check on Charlie's dinner." I made sure when I told them this to keep a dark tone in my voice. Just because I was accepting the fact they were forcing me to do something that could cause me severe injury on my own special day, didn't mean I wasn't going to hide the fact I was sulking about it. I heard Alice giggle triumphantly and Edward wrinkled his nose up slightly in an apologetic manner, though I could see his lips twitching as he tried not to flash a smug smirk.  
"Stupid vampires." I added as I headed out. This time both Alice and Edward laughed.

The sound of their musical laughter faded away as I headed down the stairs, my bare feet hitting the carpet as I reached the bottom, looking over at my father as headed through the front door.  
"Hey Dad, sorry dinners late, I was plan – "I stopped in mid sentence as my eyes fell on Charlie. He looked confused, almost dazed as he threw a bunch of papers down on the table. He collapsed in a chair, rubbing his temples, yet staying silent. Apparently he hadn't even heard me enter the room. That wasn't the case anymore though. Because I had realised why Charlie looked like he had just been told a painfully hard riddle.

 For months the poor man had been trying to find Jacob Black. Ever since the boy went missing, Charlie had sunk into the role of Chief Swan, sending out search parties. It infuriated him that Billy showed very little interest, but it infuriated him more when I showed even less than Billy. Of course, I had been worried. I hadn't stopped worrying, but unlike Chief Swan, I knew Jacob was safe. I felt a stab of guilt, hanging my head in shame. It happened every time I thought of Jake's disappearance. I knew it was my fault. No matter how many times Edward or his family told me it wasn't, I knew it was. I saw the glares that were thrown in my general direction when I went up to La Push with Charlie to see Billy. I saw the way Sam eyed my suspiciously, as though he was expecting me to attack or something. The accusing glare that Embry and Quill threw down upon me whenever I walked passed. Despite all this though, Billy had still reassured me of Jacob's safety when Charlie had disappeared to the toilet. It was followed by a warning that if Jacob was ever to return, I would be wise to stay away. He didn't threaten. In fact, it was almost like emotional black mail. The whole, 'If you cared for him as much as you make out, you'll let him be. You'll let him move on'.

Of course I cared about him as much as I said, but...could I really let go? I knew I had to. I reminded myself constantly he wasn't 'My Jacob'. He never really had been. Though some part of me knew if he was ever to come back and be somebody else's Jacob...I would hate it. I hated the way the human brain worked. This was all six months ago. Everyone had given up searching for Jacob now. Everyone except Charlie. He still searched the woods, made phone calls and kept posting up flyers. That's why, the moment I saw the pile of papers he had just thrown onto the table, seeing the big **MISSING **printed on the top, followed by a picture of a young looking Jacob underneath, I knew what was wrong. I knew what had happened, because there was only one thing that would make Charlie finally take them flyers down.  
"He's back." I whispered an announcement more to myself than anyone else. I heard a low growl behind me, followed by Alice shushing her brother. "Jacob's back." I repeated.

It took quite a few minutes to get over the shock. I had almost grown use to the thought of Jacob not returning. I even thought he might have imprinted and stayed with her – I had then pushed the thought out immediately as I didn't like the stab of jealously I got. It was times like that when I was grateful that Edward couldn't read my mind. I finally pulled my eyes away from the flyers that Charlie had pulled down, turning to look over my shoulder at my fiancé and his sister. There was a sympathetic look in my eyes as I knew Jacob was the last person Edward ever wanted to talk about. I opened my mouth to say something, let him know he didn't have to stay for this, but he shook his head. He didn't say anything but that one simple movement told me straight out that he wasn't going anywhere. He was staying here with me, knowing he was needed.  
Alice smiled ever so lightly at her brother's action before looking at Bella. "I on the other hand have to go. Carlisle will want to know that the pack's got their missing member back." She whispered so Charlie couldn't hear. With two fleeting kisses on each cheek, she danced off in a way that made any girls confidence drop almost immediately. Normally mine did when I watched but my mind was on different things right now that for once, I didn't care how beautiful Alice looked when she made an exit. "Cha – Dad, I don't understand." I moved forward and Charlie looked at us, heaving a heavy sigh.

"Me neither, kiddo. I was driving along in cruiser, coming home and I was actually on the phone to Seattle department at the time. They said someone matched his description there two weeks ago. I was just telling them what he looked like again when there he was, walking through the trees. He looked a mess mind, no shirt and ripped trousers, but it was him alright." Charlie paused, almost as if he thought his story was going to give me a heart attack. It just made me impatient and I slapped his arm lightly in an attempt to get him to hurry up. He scowled, but carried on. "Well, I pulled out, but by the time I got out on the car, he was gone. He must have seen me, but hell, I don't know how he got away so fast. Either way, I didn't see the point in keeping them – "he nodded towards the flyers. "Up if he was back in town."  
"Isn't this a good thing?" Edward asked stiffly. It was clear and plain that Edward thought it was the complete opposite. Even though he kept his voice as polite as he could, the venom towards Jacob was still there. For once though, Charlie didn't seem to glare. In fact, Charlie looked pretty angry himself and he next few words explained why.  
"Well, yes, but you would think Billy would have the decency to phone. Is he aware how much money has been spent to find his damn son? And he hasn't even battered an eyelid or shown that he was worried. If it was Bella in Jacob's position – "He sighed, realising he was ranting. I was glad that he stopped. My stomach now hurt from a recent stab of guilt. He breathed deeply and shook his head, standing up. "Don't worry about dinner tonight, Bells. I'm off out. You don't mind do you? I promised a few of the lads from work that I'd go to some work night out. I won't be late." He grabbed his coat as he said this, and then looked at me with a raised eyebrow as if asking for permission.

"I'll manage." I forced a smile as I said this. To be honest, I loved Charlie, but I didn't care where he was going right now. Thoughts were rushing through my mind, each one of them about Jacob. Was he okay? Where had he been? Why had he come back? I needed answers. I heard the door slam and I turned to face to Edward. I didn't even have to say anything; he already knew what I was planning on doing.  
"I'll drive you as far as I can, but I can't go further then I'm allowed." His voice was dark. He was unhappy. He didn't want me to go, but I also knew he had learnt a long time ago that if I wanted to go, I'd do it whether he liked it or not. I didn't like upsetting him. I considered saying no, telling him I'll just phone instead, but after everything, I don't think anyone would allow me to talk to Jacob. I had to just go with it now.  
"I'm sorry." I whispered to Edward as we headed out of the door, my eyes meeting his.

"I understand." He replied. And through the cold look in his eyes as he thought of Jacob, through the worried expression in his face as he thought of what could happen...through all of that, I could see that he really did understand. It was one of the many, many reasons that my love for Edward Cullen would always be stronger than my love for Jacob Black.


	3. Reunions

**Author's Note: I really hope this is okay. I finished it quite quickly because I'm rather enjoying writing this. My friend has just offered to make me a video trailer for it and I'm DEAD excited because she's amazing at that sort of thing! This chapter is all in Jacob's POV.  
Disclaimer: NO I DON'T OWN JACOB AND EDWARD, OKAY?! Damn. Or anyone else. They all belong to Stephanie Meyer – Lucky woman. **

Nothing had changed. This didn't surprise me. What did surprise me though was that all the things I had grown up around and become accustomed to, was all suddenly amazing to me. My eyes scattered eagerly around anything they could find. I was home. It was like I had finally found the comfort blanket I had been searching for. Yes, even a werewolf needed some form of comfort blanket every once and a while.  
My fast walking came to a stop, eyes closing as a long sigh of relief escaping my lungs through my mouth. I was in my human form now, the clouds threatening to rain down on my burning skin any minute now. Despite the eagerness to be back, something was bothering me though; Charlie.

He had seen me and that meant it was only a matter of time before his daughter knew who was back in town. She probably knew already. What would happen? My heart skipped at the thought – the hope – she might come and see me. I then realised what I was thinking and shook my head violently, my eyes opening as my brows furrowed down into a scornful frown. I wasn't supposed to be thinking that, in fact, I refused to let myself think like that. I came back to face my problems, not make them worse for myself. **If **Bella was to come then I would deal with it in dignity. I wasn't going to go back down the path I ran from so many months ago. I wasn't willing to put myself through that pain again. The pain was still there for me now, but it was fading. There was no way I would allow it to return completely. The pain of losing that one person I would have done anything to keep. The pain of being so close to her and yet so far away.  
My thoughts drifted away as I realised I was now standing in front of my house, in my own drive way. I must have started walking again without even noticing. It was strange how things like that happened when you were in such deep thought. Bella had that affect on quite a few people actually from what I know. God help any man that was ever to meet her, that's all I can say. As a vampire...perhaps it would be different. I know I certainly won't be as attracted to her as I am – or was. For a start, she'd smell revolting. But secondly...more importantly...she wouldn't be Bella.

'_That's not what I call forgetting.'_

The voice inside my head was deep, serious and I knew exactly what Sam was going on about. I was close now. The pack could see inside my head once more, hear the thoughts that were swimming around in there. It probably wasn't the highlight of their day to be surrounded by Bella Swann every five minutes – in their heads, obviously.

'_I'm working on it.' _I responded inside of my head. I was talking directly to Sam, but I was aware that it wasn't just him who could hear me. Another voice came in and it took me a moment to recognise it, before realising it was dear old Embry.

'_Welcome home.' _He sounded slightly taunting as he said it, almost cold. Then again, I would be the same if I was in his place. I couldn't expect to come back and for the lads to all be okay with me. I left them for a long time, left their thoughts. The only person who would have really been fully reassured of my safety was Sam. Of course they were all going to be mad, but...I came back in the end. Hopefully that was going to count as something.

The look on Billy's face shocked me as I walked into my house. At first I had hesitated and I was sure that even with a face like mine, the nerves were showing clearly. I expected to see his face crumble, relief wash over him to know I was alive and then I expected that furious look to glaze over his eyes. For him to maybe even throw something at me, tell me I was an idiot for leaving. But no.  
When I walked through the door, his face was so casual, like he had known I was going to come through that door. Then a familiar scent filled my nose. My head snapped in the direction o the kitchen. I saw Sam and the boys standing in the kitchen. This told me that Charlie had clearly known I was about to walk through that door and had pushed any reaction to the side, preparing himself to be typical non-emotional Billy Black. There goes my fun.  
"You know, it's not really a surprise if you warn people first."  
Those were the first words that came out of my mouth. I'd left these people for so long...6 months to be exact. No real warning, no sign of where I was going or staying, no proper goodbye. And yet, the first thing I said to them was some form of humour. How else was I supposed to deal with it? I was only male. And no matter what I said, one of them was going to punch me anyway.  
My bets were on Paul.

I was right. In one swift movement, Paul had thrown a plate at my head. I'd managed to duck it of course and now I was down on my knees, sweeping up broken china. There was an awkward silence, the only sound coming from the TV as Billy's eyes continued to focus on the game. Something told me he wasn't paying attention to it though, just trying to make out that he was. I pushed myself back to my knees, clearing my throat loudly as I put the broken shards into the bin.  
"Look – " I started. I was hoping that I could make them understand, though in all honesty I really had no idea what I was going to say. Thankfully, someone stepped forward and saved me.

"We don't need to hear it." Sam spoke with authority. I noticed Embry had opened his mouth as if to protest, but Sam silenced him with one look. I heard him warn the boy through thoughts, but decided not to comment on it. I tried not to smile at the snicker that escaped Paul and Quill's mouth as Embry was told off. My lips immediately stopped flickering when Sam's eyes fell on me again. I straightened myself out, eyes connecting with his as I folded my arms over my bare chest.  
"The important thing is your back. Hopefully these past 6 months finally cleared your head." He muttered, though I could hear the doubt in his voice as he said this. "I'll fill you in on everything once you've settled back in." With that, he began to walk forward, ending the conversation. He walked straight past me without saying anything, reaching for the door, before pausing. He stood there for a moment, before looking over his shoulder.  
"It's good to have you back." He told me. He spoke quietly, but after the words escaped his mouth, the corner of his lips twitched into a small smile and I felt a great deal of relief wash over me.

"Good to be back." I replied boldly. I heard one of the boys scoff, as if they thought I no longer found La Push interesting. I couldn't blame them for thinking this after I had been missing for so long. It was clear that not everyone would be as understanding and forgiving as Sam had. The door closed and I turned to face them, just in time to see another plate heading in my direction. I ducked, winced at the sound of it smashing against the wall before standing up straight to glare at Paul.  
Paul glared back. A low growl escaped my throat without even meaning to, but for some reason, I couldn't be angry. We stared at each other, waiting for the other to look away. Paul then changed, his eyes creased slightly and a new 

sound escaped his mouth – laughter. This was followed by Embry, Leah and the others. I felt my eyebrows bury down into a frown, trying to work out what was going on. Then it hit me, as I looked around, I had to admit the scene was amusing. Comical. A warm, happy feeling rushed over me – something I hadn't felt in a while and the sound of my own laughter filled my ears. I was finally home.

No one asked about where I had been, what I'd done and other such things. In fact, no one mentioned the fact I had even run away. Once the laughter had died down, I was embraced into tight hugs; hugs that would have crushed a normal humans bones. The only person that did make things awkward was Leah. At first, I didn't care. I was still angry at her, why shouldn't I be? But then I remembered the last words I had said to her. They hadn't been pleasant either. I had been away long enough to learn that holding a grudge would get people nowhere. What's done had been done, but I was trying to teach myself not to live in the past, which is why...after I had survived punches on the arms and manly hugs, I pulled her into my own tight hug. We said nothing, but I knew that was enough to tell her that I didn't care and that I was sorry.  
The last person to deal with was Billy. For a while, we had just stared at each other. His eyes told me nothing that he was feeling, but I knew my father well enough to know he was feeling many things right now. Anger, disappointment, embarrassment...but through all of that, I knew deep down that some part of him was relieved. Almost as if he could tell I knew this, he broke the emotionless stare by turning one side of his mouth up into a smile, which I happily return. We said nothing though; words would come later for us when we were alone. We were all now standing in the kitchen, apart from Billy who really was watching the game now, a few of the lads with beers in their hands while I seemed to eat whatever I could find. I was starving; there was no denying that; eating had been one of the many problems I suffered when I wasn't at home. As I shoved another handful of chips into my mouth, I let out a loud bark like laugh at one of them stories Embry was telling me. I was then punched in the arm by Leah for spraying her with crumbs.  
"Swallow then laugh." She scorned. I merely swallowed then poked my tongue out at her. Immature I know, but bothered? Not at all.

"You should hear what happened to that Newton kid the other – "Embry was interrupted by a loud, rather frantic knock at the door. Silence fell over all of us and a few exchanged looks. I merely frowned, looking at them then at the door, wondering why no one was heading off to answer it.  
Then I smelt it. I smelt her. Even after six months, I knew exactly what she smelt like – not to mention it was mixed with the disgusting smell of her filthy bloodsucker. My body tensed and the bag chips fell from my hand, landing on the floor with a soft thud. My eyes watched the door and I was now aware that everyone's eyes were on me.  
I had suspected she would visit, but I hadn't expected it to be so soon. I wasn't prepared. I didn't know how I was going to act and I had no idea what she was even going to say. What if she had already been turned and I didn't know yet? After all, the smell might not be Edward, it might be her. I swallowed hard at the thought.

"Jacob?"  
The voice was quiet and muffled as she called my name from outside. It sent shivers down my spine, but it pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Don't worry, mate. I'll get it." Paul had already begun walking towards the door as he said this, but I held an arm out to block his path. Saying nothing, I shook my head, letting him know that I didn't want him to sort it. I wasn't going 

to run and hide this time. I had to face my problems, even if it was in the form of a beautiful woman who I was in love with.  
"I'll be right back." I mumbled to the group. I saw them all exchanged worried looks, but none of them tried to stop me as I left the kitchen. I could feel Billy's eyes boring into me, but he said nothing. They all knew that no matter what they said, nothing was going to stop me from opening that door now that I know who stood outside.

My hand hesitated as it reached for the handle and for a moment, I paused. I was ready to turn and head upstairs, get one of the others to tell her I wasn't here. Even though the temptation to do so was strong as ever, I pushed it back, gripping the handle and slowly pulling the door open. The scent got stronger now that she was standing right in front of me; I actually took a step back and crinkled my nose up. There was silence. I refused to look at her, but I could tell she was staring at me. I could imagine the look on her face – it would be mixed with relief, hurt and pain. I was annoyed by the fact I cared that I had hurt her. I didn't want to care. I didn't want to feel anything for her. That's when I realised what I had to do. If I wanted to do all of this, then I had to get Bella out of my life. As long as she was around, she would always be a part of me. I wanted her so bad to be a part of me, but I wanted it in a different way than she did. A way I knew wasn't possible. Her love for me was never going to be enough. I was never going to be enough.  
I felt a pit of anger grow inside of me as all of this began to sink in and I finally turned my head to look at her. Our eyes met and I saw hers glisten slightly with tears that threatened to fall. Without a warning, I felt arms slip around my waist and her head was on my shoulders. A gasp escaped her lips and filled my ears, whether this was from tears or from the shock of the sudden heat that hit her body, I didn't know.  
I remained stiff. It took a lot of self control. I wanted to throw my arms around her, spin her around, hold her tight and tell her how much I had missed her. But what would be the point? It wouldn't mean anything. Not to her. After a few minutes, she seemed to realise that I hadn't responded and slowly pulled away.

"Jacob, I can't believe it's you. I thought you weren't coming back." She said quietly, her arms falling back to her side as she searched my face for some sort of response. My jaw set and I said nothing, trying to keep my face emotionless.  
_'Don't let yourself get hurt.' _I was surprised to hear Leah's voice in my head. It wasn't like her to say something like that, but I knew she was right. I couldn't let myself get hurt.  
"What are you doing here, Bella?" I tried to keep my voice calm and collective, but even to me it sounded hard and cold.

Bella flinched and a part of me inside recoiled with guilt.  
"I came to see you." She replied so innocently and so quietly that she sounded like a 5 year old caught with their hand in a cookie jar. "Charlie told me you were back and I was worried. I thought. - " Her words seem to catch in her mouth, almost as though she didn't know how to say what she wanted.

"I'm fine." I told her, once again my voice sounded harsher than I wanted it to. "Is that all?"

"Jacob, please. I...I've been scared. I didn't know what had happened to you or anything. You can't just come back like this and not explain things to me." Even though she was trying to tell me I couldn't do something, there was no tone of authority or pressure in her voice. Instead it sounded strained, like she was pleading with me.

"Yes I can. We're not..." My voice drifted off. I couldn't say it. I knew what I had to say and I couldn't say it. I could hear Embry and the other's in my head, telling me that I needed to do what was best for me, not her. That I shouldn't be afraid to hurt her – but I was. How could I hurt someone who meant so much to me? How could I hurt the one person, who at one stage was the only thing that kept me going? A new voice entered my head – Sam's.

'_Don't do anything because you feel like you have to. Do what you feel is right. Don't do it because you think its right.'_

His advice never made much sense to me. I looked up at the skies, then down at Bella, who looked more confused than ever as she watched me and waited for me to finish my sentence. How could I do what I felt was right? If I did that, I'd be kissing her now. Holding her so close to me that we looked like one large person, not two people holding. I couldn't do that. And so I made my decision. My eyes narrowed and I straightened myself out, turning my head to look over her shoulder. I couldn't look her in the face because I knew what was about to come out of my mouth.  
"We're not friends anymore, Bella."

I heard another gasp escape her lips. This time it was out of shock. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. There was a long silence and my head had finally gone quiet where they knew that interrupting me would be the worst thing anyone could do. The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I didn't want to say it and I certainly didn't want it to be true. I was throwing everything away here. I was hurting myself just as much as it would hurt me to be around her. Was this how I was going to feel for the rest of my life? Stuck in a situation that was always going to be lose-lose for me?

"Jacob...I know a lot has happened, but...we're best friends." Her voice was almost inaudible now, barely a whisper. The pleading tone was still there.

My eyes snapped open, frowning slightly. Best friends? No, we weren't. We hadn't been friends for a long time. We hadn't been friends since the day I realised I was in love with her. Maybe we were friends to her, but to me...to me it would always be more. That was why I had to do this. My mouth opened, but nothing came out for a moment, before I finally found the courage to speak. I gave her an explanation. Not the one she wanted, but...one she needed to hear.  
"We're not friends, Bella. We'll never be friends. We'll fight, we'll hurt each other and I'll be in love with you until it kills me. But we can never be friends." The harshness had left my voice now and it was the same noise level as hers. My eyes looked down and met her ones; I noticed a tear had fallen down her cheek. My hand rose to brush it away, but I froze half way. It hung in mid air for a moment, before I clenched it into a fist and let it fall back down to my side. She hung her head down, wiping it away with her own hand.

She no longer spoke. She stared at her own feet for a moment, before looking up and nodding. "Right." Her whole body turned and her back was now the only part of her I could see. I stepped forward, ready to tell her I didn't mean it and beg for forgiveness but a hand was suddenly around my wrist, pulling me back inside – my senses told me it was Billy.  
"Bella – " I started, but I stopped. She didn't seem to hear anyway, she had already disappeared down the drive way so fast that she may as well have been running. I knew where she was going – back to the line, where her lover was waiting. Anger boiled up inside of me at the thought of her crying in his arms and my regret faded away.  
"You know, for someone whose called people so much pain, you're pretty good at playing the victim!" My voice was a loud bellow as I yelled after her. I hadn't even known I was saying it until I finished. She froze and turned to stare at 

me, eyes wide and her face twisted in pain. Why the hell had I said that? It wasn't true. The thought of her and Cullen together had wound me up so much that I wanted her to feel the hurt I was suffering. I wanted to take it out on someone else in hope that it would make me feel better, but it didn't.

"Screw you, Jacob."  
Her three simple words crushed me inside. Before I could say anything, she was gone. She had turned and run, disappearing.  
I don't know how long I stood in the doorway. I started to rain and it pelted down on me, dripping my hair and my trousers, but still I stood there, staring at the place she had been standing not too long ago.

What had I done?


	4. Failed Apologies

Author's note: I am so sorry this took so long. I've been having a lot of trouble lately, especially with concentrating and this took me a long time to write. I'm not overly impressed with it and it could have gone better, but I'm hoping it's good enough for you to enjoy. If anyone is interested in seeing what Bella's wedding dress looks like as I sucked at describing it, then feel free to look: .

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

I don't know how long I stood outside for. I lost count, in all honesty. Every now and then, one of the pack members would stride forward and attempt to drag me back in, but they'd fail.

I felt as though I couldn't move. I felt as though my whole world has just crushed me to the ground and I could no longer breathe; I no longer wanted to breathe. The rain pelted down on my bare chest, though it never really stayed, it seem evaporated into thin air thanks to my inhumane body temperature. I didn't even notice it that much though; my eyes were still staring at the position that Bella had been standing in not too long ago. I was still repeating the conversation in my head; the cold words that I'd spoken to her. I felt so guilty for them. I felt even guilty for not regretting them as much as I should have done.

The truth was, I felt some sort of strange relief. As if I'd been dying to say something like that for a while. I hated it; I felt sick knowing that, like some part of me was twisted and emotionally messed up. It was just the fact that I'd finally been honest with her about how her mind games made me feel and even though I knew she didn't intentionally make me feel so broken and hurt, it felt good for her to be aware that was what she did do. Was I wrong to feel like this? I wasn't sure. I didn't want to think about it too much. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to run after her, but I knew she was already gone. Back to that bloodsucker; back to her leech lover who would soon be her husband. Why couldn't I accept that? Why was it so impossible for me to move on? There were so many questions I wish I knew the answers too, but I never found the answers I was looking for.

After what appeared to be forever, I eventually pulled myself away from my torturous spot and stepped back inside, out of the rain and back towards a group of watchful eyes. Eyes that was accusing; narrowed dangerously. I could already sense their anger; sense their frustration. I suppose the pack had every right to be annoyed. I had been away for so long after abandoning them and now here I was, I hadn't even been back for twenty four hours and already I was back to where I had been so many months ago. Back to wallowing over that one female, her face surrounding by thoughts while I beat myself up for things I would never be able to change.

Yes, I could understand their frustration, but that didn't mean I was going to accept it. After all, none of them understood how hard it was. None of them knew the love I felt for Bella; barely any of them even knew love and the ones that did were happy. They'd imprinted and carried on with their life. I didn't have that luxury; I had fallen in love by choice. I wasn't forced into it like they were.  
I heard both Quill and Sam growl as they heard these thoughts, but I didn't say anything, I merely looked at them with watchful eyes, narrowing them slightly as if to warn them not to test me. I knew threatening my Alpha was a bad idea, but I couldn't help it. I hated the fact that they wanted to act like they understood love. I hated the fact they wanted to act like they understood me. They didn't understand me or the pain I felt. They didn't understand anything.

Anger was burning up inside of me. Anger I couldn't control; anger I had been dying to unleash ever since I'd painfully watched Bella running away from me, moving through the trees in a clumsy manner. No one said anything, they were all silent, but that didn't mean I couldn't hear anything. I could hear /everything/. I could hear each and every one of their thoughts as they questioned why I'd come back, questioned what I'd been doing with my life for the last few months, shouted at me to get over my problems. To get over her.

"Shut up!" I suddenly snapped at them all and as I did, my shirt ripped slightly. I thought I'd controlled my temper; thought I'd managed to control my phasing, but right now as they all stood there, thinking such ridiculous things, I began to lose that control. I couldn't stand to hear their thoughts. Couldn't stand to listen to them questioning me, shouting at me when they didn't even understand. None of them were considering my feelings. They were just being selfish. They didn't want to have to see Bella's face all the time. They didn't want to have to listen to my pain. Was I really supposed to just block it out to make them happy? As far as most of them were concerned, yes I was. I heard Seth whimper, almost as if he were trying to tell me he was on my side; that he understood. I felt a great deal of pity for the boy. He wouldn't survive in the pack with that attitude. Leah growled this time, hearing that thought, jumping to her brother's defence. I didn't listen. Why should I listen to her? Wasn't she the reason I left last time?

I hated that I was turning on my friends, but they were making it so easy for me to do. They were making me so angry, pushing my limits, thinking all of the right things to get me riled up. I couldn't think clearly; I couldn't stop to see reason. All I could see right now was red. All I could hear were their thoughts of accusation; I didn't even stop to listen to their words of concern, which were vaguely there in a few of their heads, mainly Seth's. I couldn't focus on anything right now except the rage that was dying to escape. I needed to escape before I released that rage. I needed to go somewhere; I knew where I wanted to go. I wanted to go apologise; I wanted to go explain myself to her. But what would I say? I didn't know, but I had to do something. Anything.

"Do what you have to do." I heard the Alpha speak to me, answering my thoughts, giving me permission to go through them, willing me to do anything I could to make things okay again.

I glanced at him, saying nothing, merely watching him closely, before bowing my head into a nod, as if to thank him. I appreciated the fact he seemed to somewhat understand enough to give me what I wanted.

I didn't say goodbye to the others. I didn't announce my leave out loud – I didn't need to. I could still hear them grumbling to each other as I made my way towards the door. I could see Billy watching me with eyes full of concern, but I still didn't stop. I was outside once again, the rain hitting my skin and I began to walk forward, my walking slowly becoming a run. Within seconds, my paws were pounding against the floor where I'd phased, my tongue hanging out of my mouth as I panted lightly, the bag attached to my back leg swishing from side to side as I raced through the trees.

I had to see her.

I had to apologise. I just hoped that would be enough for Bella.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

Jacob's words echoed around in my mind. I was silent the whole journey back to my house and I knew Edward was worried, I could tell by the way he gripped the steering wheel a little bit tighter than necessary. I didn't need to tell him what had happened; he'd overheard every word even from where he was standing. He was angry, but I couldn't help sense that some part of him was pleased. Perhaps he felt as though this somewhat got rid of the competition. This angered me even more than I already was. I didn't understand what the boy's problems were! Why couldn't I have them both? Not in the same sense of course, but why couldn't I love Edward and be friends with Jacob at the same time? Nothing made sense to me. I was so hurt, so angered by what had been said moments ago that I couldn't think straight right now. Part of me wanting to go back and scream at the werewolf more, perhaps hit him, but that would hurt me more than it would hurt him – more emotionally and physically.

I couldn't believe that after all this time; he was going to treat me like that. I had spent so many months worrying about him, trying to find out if he was okay, and using only Seth as my information. I had been so relieved when I'd heard he had returned, so happy that he was safe and yet...the moment I'd gone to see him, I was rejected straight away. Did I really deserve that? Had I hurt him that much? I felt a stab of guilt in the pit of my stomach as my eyes stared out of the window. The last thing I'd wanted to do was hurt anymore. I couldn't help who I had feelings for, I couldn't help who I loved...and that was Edward. I couldn't be with Jacob the way he wanted me to be with him. I'd hoped that one day he'd learn to accept that, but it would appear he hadn't. He couldn't even look at me anymore. That hurt too, more than I'd ever thought it could.

The engine of Edward's shiny Volvo switched off as we approached my house, but I didn't move. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts; I didn't think to get out of the car. I could hear Edward still sat next to me, feel his amber eyes staring at me intently, searching me as he tried to read me but failed, just like he had done since the first day he ever saw me. I was relieved that he couldn't read my thoughts right now; I needed some privacy. I needed time to think things through and some of these thoughts I couldn't bear to let Edward hear. There were some things a fiancé didn't want to hear his bride to be thinking about after all and this was one of them. He didn't want to listen to me considering Jacob's feelings; he shouldn't have to either, which was why I was glad that he couldn't. I'd already hurt Jacob today, I didn't want to hurt Edward as well. He had already put up with so much from me when it came down to Jacob, I didn't want to put him through anything else.

Without warning, the door next to me opened and I jumped, seeing Edward standing there holding it open for me like a proper gentlemen. I hadn't heard him move; he moved so fast that I was getting used to his sudden actions. However, right now, I looked rather startled and he must have noticed this because he was flashing me that adorable apologetic look of his. I couldn't stay mad at him when he gave me such an irresistible smile.

It wasn't long before we were back in the comfort of my bedroom and as usual, Alice was waiting for me. She was flittering about in her pixie like manner, moving elegantly like some form of dancer as she tidied the place up, a large smile on her face. Clearly she hadn't heard what had happened. I trudged into the room with a sulky look on my face and Edward trailed behind me, glancing at Alice who was watching us both with concern burning in those topaz hue eyes of hers. I knew I was depressed then; usually looking at Alice made me stabbed my self esteem majorly, but right now, it had no effect on me. I was too busy thinking about the past events to even consider how ordinary and plain I was when standing next to the beautiful female Cullen.

He had looked so serious...so full of anger when he shouted those words at me. Had he really been holding that in for so long? Was I the true reason he had run away? Not because I was marrying Edward, but merely because I didn't give him the affection he needed – because I hurt him, no matter how well I played a victim? I had no idea. I was dying to ask him, but I was too scared of what his answers might be. Too scared that he would say yes, tell me that I was truly the reason for his departure...the reason for his pain. More guilt stabbed me in the gut and I fell down onto my bed, a small groan escaping my lips. I could hear Alice and Edward muttering to each other, but I couldn't hear what they were saying – my senses were nothing compared to theirs.

There was a flutter of wind and without warning; Edward's cold lips were pressed against my forehead. My eyes stared up at him, shocked by the sudden affection, but he merely smiled at me, looking apologetic once more. "Alice would like me to leave. She has a surprised for you." He explained calmly. I felt a great deal of disappointment; I needed him right now. I needed him to hold me in his arms and tell me everything was going to be okay. Some part of me wanted to sulk and whine, beg him to stay with him, but I didn't. Instead I nodded in a reluctant manner, leaning up to kiss him. The kiss didn't last long – they never did with Edward, he was always so concerned. I couldn't wait to be a vampire; to find out what his kisses were truly like. I watched solemnly as he fluttered out of the room, shutting the door politely before heading downstairs. I cringed at the thought of him and Charlie being alone together; he wasn't Charlie's favourite person after all considering everything that had happened since introducing Edward Cullen into my life. More guilt stabbed me as I thought of Charlie.

"Come on, up you get." Alice sung in her high soprano voice as she fluttered over to me, her ice like hand taking mine gently in hers and pulling me to my feet with no sign of a struggle. She was so strong compared to me. "I have a surprise for you!" She announced, looking excited. I merely stared at her with a blank expression; I was in no mood for more surprises but once Alice had her heart set on something, there was no telling her no, so I didn't even try to. I merely watched her as she smiled at me, letting go of my hand and dancing to another area of the room. She was fiddling with something and despite the fact I was trying to sink into a form of depression, I couldn't help but feel slightly curious. My head tilted to one side, trying to get a better look and a shocked gasp escaped my lips when I finally realised what she was doing.

She spun around, holding up the most beautiful dress I'd ever laid my eyes on. It was so white; almost blinding. The material looked so soft as it floated in different lengths on the right side, the bottom of it reaching down the floor at a ridiculous length – a length I was most likely going to fall over when I wore it. It was strapless, something that might be a problem for me, and on the top half it seemed to glitter slightly where small diamonds were attached to it, glistening every time a light source hit it. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was my wedding dress.

A lump appeared in my throat and tears welled in my eyes. I didn't know why I was getting so emotional although I assumed it was because of the day I'd had. Everything had been so stressful; so emotional and this was the last straw. Alice didn't seem offended; in fact she smiled, knowing my tears where the happy variety where I was so touched by her effort. "You like it!" She announced in her high voice, swishing the dress around slightly in her excitement before dancing over to me. "I want you to try it on! Make sure it fits. You're going to look gorgeous!" She exclaimed, pushing the dress in my direction.

This wasn't something I'd planned for. I didn't want to wear it – I would probably end up ripping it and it looked so delicate, so fragile...I didn't want to ruin it! I stared at her in shock and she seemed to sense that I was going to reject her offer, but this only caused her to push the material firmly into me. I took it gently in my hands, still staring at her. How did she expect me to wear such a beautiful piece of material? I was so ordinary...it wouldn't suit me. However, Alice was so stubborn, I knew there would be no point in arguing with her and of course, I turned my back on her, beginning to slip my wet clothes off, cringing slightly as I prepared myself to wear my dress for the first time. Most likely the last as well considering I'd probably do something to damage it.

I carefully slipped the soft material over my shapeless form, shrugging my shoulders effortlessly in a self conscious way as it dragged it up over my hips and towards my almost non-existent bust. I tugged at it, being careful not to rip the fine material and eventually, it was on my form, tugging at my body. Perfect fit. I wasn't surprised; Alice was perfect when it came to these sorts of things. I heard her clapping with glee from behind, a shocked gasp escaping her lips. Did I look hideous? I knew I would. Slowly, I began to turn around to face her and as I did, I caught my reflection. It was my turn to gasp in shock this time; I didn't recognise the person staring back at me. Despite the fact my hair was dripping wet and the little makeup that I wore was smudged, I honestly thought I looked good. The dress clung to me perfectly, actually giving my body some form of shape. The material of the dress looked so elegant...so beautiful. I couldn't help but feel dazzled by it. A laugh erupted from my lips; it was the first time I'd laughed for a while never, ever since m encounter with Jacob. I had to laugh; I was in shock. Alice laughed along with me and before we knew it, we were standing there with pre-wedding jitters, looking excited as we laughed and complimented the dress.

No matter what, things weren't as bad as they seemed. I hoped.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

What would I say to her? I wasn't sure. I knew I had to decide soon considering I was at her house now, moving swiftly through the bushes as I headed towards her window. I didn't want Charlie to know I was there; didn't want to give Bella the chance to tell him to make me go away. I wanted her to hear me out and I knew the best way to do that would to take me by surprise. I could smell that sweet disgusting vampire smell, but that was always in her house now. I didn't stop to think that one of them would actually be there. The stupid Volvo that he owned wasn't parked in the driveway, so I assumed that he had been and gone. I hoped he had been and gone. Not because I was embarrassed to talk in front of him, but because the need to kill him was so strong right now that I wasn't sure if I would be able to control myself. Filthy leech.

All I would do was say sorry; I would explain myself, explain why I left and everything that had happened...I would give her another chance, just like I always did, because I was a fool in love and nothing was going to change that. I'd phased back now, my body on show but my legs covered by a pair of old tracksuit bottoms that hung off of my muscular form. I could smell her scent now, even through all of the vampire traces. She still smelt so inviting, so warm and welcoming...I shouldn't be thinking things like this, but I couldn't help it. I would always think things like this about Bella Swan.

Dragging myself up the wall, her window got closer and closer. My heart pounded against my ridiculously warm chest, my nerves suddenly getting the better of me. I was so worried that she wouldn't forgive me, so worried that she would hate me forever, so wo – my thoughts stopped dead. I'd reached the window, but I wished I never had. My eyes stared in shock, heartbreak filling me even more at I saw. She looked gorgeous, standing there with that vampire female friend of hers...the wedding dress clung to her figure in a way that I'd never seen clothing cling to her before. Her face looked so happy as she laughed something loudly, tears streaming from her eyes where she was laughing so hard...It was as if our conversation from earlier had never happened.

That was when I realised something. Bella Swan would never be mine. She was getting married and she would become a vampire. She would move on with Cullen and live happily forever after. But she would never be mine. She would never love me the way I loved her. This much was obvious by the way she stood there, laughing happily in her wedding dress...planning her wedding day rather than moping in a corner over me. I didn't matter as much as Edward did. I never would. I was always going to be second best and right now, I wasn't even that. I was nothing. I was just the old best friend who had lost his chance of having any kind of relationship with her. Our friendship wasn't even there anymore.

I fell from the window, hitting the ground hard, but I didn't feel the pain. I didn't feel anything except for the yearning pain in my heart that I now felt. It felt horrible. It felt as though I was never going to be happy again. This was worse than when I had seen the wedding invitation. This was devastating; this was reality. I couldn't take it. I couldn't be here. Forks was too much for me; I was a fool for coming back. I wasn't ready; I would never be ready.

I was running before I knew it. Running as fast as I could. My wolf form breezed through the trees; down the many paths...I didn't know where I was going. I just had to leave. I had to get out of here. I couldn't stay; I should never have come back.

I was running away again.


End file.
